So it’s 8:48 am of Wednesday and I just got home from an overnight at Cy’s apartment last night. I ran to take a bath just when I open the room of the dormitory I’m residing in. “Tanghali na!” – are the words that kept running through my mind. I have no enough sleep; just a nap of approximately 20 minutes after I finished the news article at about 5:30 AM. And I need to remind myself that I still have a major class at 1:30.
Yes, the bed is very inviting but the coldness of the water from the shower made me numb from exhaustion and pressure that I should be feeling because of school demands.
And I just realized that it has been a couple of months since I visited home. I miss sneaking on the kitchen at midnight, I miss the comfort I feel whenever I’m in my room, I miss being clingy and loud and annoying whenever I’m home. I miss sleeping together with my siblings, I miss how my parents treat me as if I was still a kid (well, it still happens up to now). I miss my parents’ lutong bahay, most especially.
These are the times when I just have to snap out of it and realize that I have no one here. I need to be responsible for myself. I’ve decided this, yes. I should take the consequences of the decisions I made – that I know. But sometimes, I can’t help it.. I can’t help but wish to be a kid again and enjoy all the time I had when I was younger.
When all else piles up the weight on my shoulder, I can’t help but utter these words –
I miss home.